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Is this what the world has come to? A decade removed from the prostitution game, and they go and throw a legitimate massage parlor into the mix? So instead of a Tuesday afternoon of seed splattering and exotic, exaggerated Asian moaning quite reasonably passing for genuine pleasure, I was forced to slink back to my car unfulfilled, unsatisfied, and totally perplexed.
My worldview, one that includes the set-in-marble axiom that dark-skinned women speaking fewer than ten words of English and residing in the United States will do anything for money, will never again be the same. Who runs this joint? God, it all seemed so easy at first: I walked in, eyed my surroundings, and saw that what appeared before me was a waiting room only a den of iniquity could love.
There was a register of sorts, and a credit card machine, though the madam informed me that it was broken, and if it was cash I desired, there was an ATM down the street. Of course I was going to get laid; perhaps even with two or three of the little princesses while candles burned down to their nubs and the tunes of the Orient took me away on a wave of perversion.
Jesus, who the hell would select the former? Meof course, figuring that my rapid fire performance abilities were the only reality worth saving five dollars over. So back I went, to a large room that continued to maintain the illusion of lust and disease.
While no water dripped from the ceiling, and I failed to notice anything crawling along the floor, it was a depressing, soul-stealing room nonetheless, with an oddly placed washer and dryer in the far corner.
Once again, the light bulbs went off: where else to wash the soiled sheets and savaged linens that stole the oxygen from these little rooms? By my count, there were six rooms, each numbered with care, and upon reaching my destination, I thought again that my money would be well spent, massage happy ending la jolla Aurora.
There, before me, was a massage table, a pile of massage happy ending la jolla Aurora and washcloths, and a small table containing ointments, lotions, and oils. I could feel the cool touch of the demure little wallflowers awaiting my member, and my excitement made me lose my mind for a moment. The door opened again, and if my eyes did not deceive me, she had shed her top for something a little more revealing.
What followed — amidst eye-rolling and groans of frustration — was your standard massage school treatment. Grinds, rubs, pushes, and digs, yes, but nothing even remotely flirtatious. Having never had a professional massage before, it felt pretty good, but the minutes happy ending massage from a another woman Providence, Rhode Island like days in anticipation of my long-delayed orgasm.
On and on and on she went, deviating slightly from her routine, and only to smack my thighs with a stinging awareness. Suddenly, my sweet Vietnamese flower left the room, and outside the door, I heard the clipped, ear-piercing squawk of her kind speaking to a much younger sounding woman.
Ah-so, I imagined, here was the rub at last, Colorado. Mama set the tone and warmed me up, and daughter dear would come back in and finish me off. Despite being face down and near suffocating, I smiled to the gods of lust, and awaited the creak of that battered door. And so it opened. Only the hands that grabbed the fat of my flank were depressingly familiar, and no massage happy ending la jolla Aurora fingers were ever going to make me forget.
I submitted to even more of the massage, now so boring that I might as well be playing chess. Should I grab her? Bluntly point to my cock? Smirk like a tomcat and start jerking off?
If it were a licensed, bonded, tax-paying outfit, I would be beyond embarrassed if I cast aspersions on their enterprising character. No, I sat tight, and kept hoping that the hands now soaked with lotion would reach inside my underwear. She had no interest in sex at all! And so it ended. I had been hard for at least ten massage happy ending la jolla Aurora my sixty minutes, but no human contact with said member was ever made. She asked me to sit up, thinking that glory might come at last, and all she did as a final act was rub me down with a hot towel.
I had made no exertion, and shit, neither had she, the tramp. As I stood up and considered the woman before me, I noticed that yes, massage happy ending la jolla Aurora, she was in fact a pleasant-looking woman, and though likely pushing the forty-ish barrier, she would have been a fine conquest, albeit one purchased on the cheap.
And so I left, wondering how I had ended up this pathetic and distraught, being perhaps the only man alive or dead who exited a massage parlor having received foot massage happy ending santa clara Boise, Idaho actual massage.
He divides his time between classics of cinema and the most ridiculous movies he can find on Redbox.